Sunday, February 28, 2016

Across the Universe

Hello viewers and welcome back to Locke Takes on the Alphabet! When I saw the results of the poll I immediately thought of a spouse, however, this particular person was... special. Thus, this is my attempt at 'drama' even though it isn't as dramatic as it could of been.


leangreenqueen42- Elijah? You home?

That1hotnerd- Yeah! How's it going? Your stepmom have her baby yet?

leangreenqueen42- Yep! This is dad's third girl in a row. Four I guess including me.


That1hotnerd- Poor guy. Jk! Does your mom hate that your stepmom is so fertile?

leangreenqueen42- She doesn't know, and if she does I doubt she cares. The only thing she does is email me and ask about my 'development'. 

That1hotnerd- well at least she checks up on you right? 

leangreenqueen42- i guess. it just feels so clinical with her. anyways i gotta go, talk to you soon?

That1hotnerd- anytime.


leangreenqueen42- ELIJAH! mom's coming for my birthday next week! i'm so excited!!

That1hotnerd- That's great! umm do your dad and stepmom know?

leangreenqueen42- Oh yeah right, i should probably tell them. I'll let you know how it goes k?


That1hotnerd- Exoh? Hello? don't leave me in suspense!!

That1hotnerd- it's getting kind of late.

That1hotnerd- I'll excuse your rudeness b/c I know you are probably flipping out right now

That1hotnerd- I swear i'm not being stalkery i'm just concerned. I suppose I'll chat with you tomorrow.


leangreenqueen42- I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Um this is really shitty, but I won't be able to talk to you anymore.

That1hotnerd- WHat? Why? What's wrong?!

leangreenqueen42- I'm not supposed to say, and I know you won't believe me. but I don't care I want you to know before I'm gone. I told you about my mom never being here? That she left me at the doorstep for my father to raise by himself? Well, truth is... uhm my dad actually gave birth to me. My mother is an alien. I'm an alien. Mom's taking back to her home planet. 'No more human contact' she says. I'm sorry.


That1hotnerd- Are you messing with me right now? You could have just said I was an annoying asshole and left it at that.

That1hotnerd- Hello? I was being sarcastic I guess it didn't translate well.


That1hotnerd- Exoh? This isn't funny you're freaking me out!


Everything all right man?

Elijah- No, I. I think my heart is breaking. Why would she lie like that? I though she liked me!


Elijah- Unless she wasn't lying! 

If you're suggesting that aliens exist then...

Elijah- They do! There are all sorts of research papers and developing theories by leading scientists! 

That doesn't mean...

Elijah- I've got to go find her!


Er Elijah! You really aren't the best at piloting a rocket ship! Remember the last one?!

Elijah- It's actually not that hard. I just couldn't resist the big shiny red button last time. FYI it's the self-destruct button.

Good to know.


Xavier- Son. Why are you flying around in that thing. And where did your shirt go?

Elijah- I was looking for someone I met online who turned out to be a half/alien hybrid who was taken back to her home planet by her alien mom. I did run into some aliens. But they were the gelatinous marshmallowy kind of aliens. I asked them about where to find humanoid aliens and they told me! They just asked for my shirt as payment.

Xavier- ... I'm going back to the house and try to forget that my son, the generation E heir, has lost his damn mind.




Elijah- I just need enter those coordinates and I'll find her!


Success?

Elijah- You know it! Weird thing though, as soon as I located her planet the screen blacked out and the words 'Back off or else' appeared. Must be a bug.

Right. A bug.


Elijah- Now all I need is a way to teleport myself there. I'll get a good rest tonight and figure it out in the morning.


Elijah- I'm coming for you Exoh! zzzzzzz

Awww!





Later that night...


Xavier- This. Isn't. Happening.


Xavier- ELIJAH! What is the name of llamas has happened to our HOUSE!?

Elijah- I guess the threat was legit

Xavier- WHAT THREAT?! >:(


Elijah- Oh well I found out where my alien friend was taken, but they told me to stop looking. Too bad for them! I'm never gonna stop.

Xavier- Are you pulling my ****ing chain right now?


Dottie- Aww honey go easy on him! It's a quest for true love!

Xavier- You believe him!?

Dottie- I'm a writer honey, there is very little I don't believe.

Xavier- How much money did we have in savings? Can we at least get some beds?

Dottie- We have around 16,000 dear!


Xavier- You get a job. You find a real woman to continue this legacy with. You don't talk to me for a little while.

Elijah- Just you wait dad, I'm going to make it up to you! I'll get a job in the scientist field right now!


Xavier- Ugghh. 

Dottie- Oh! I do hope that his alien girlfriend is nice! You think they'll let me write a book about them?

Xavier- f*** me. 


Cool workplace!

Elijah- I won't let this job distract me! I have one goal and that's to find Exoh.


....grunt work?

Elijah- Shut up.


Kenneth- Did you hear that Wilson? New kid wants to know if we have a way to meet aliens. Ha!

Wilson- Now kid, even if they exist, it would take a hell of a scientist to pull off even the slightest of communications, let alone face to face meetings. 

Elijah- Frammit.


Wilson- However we are scientists, and nothing is impossible for us! 

Elijah- I like your vibes man!

Wilson- You should talk to Carl! He's just as loco as you!

Elijah- I'm NOT crazy. Right Ellen?

Kenneth- Who's Ellen?

Better stop there kid.


Elijah- One of my work checklist things is to talk to you so... yeah. How are you?

Carl- Not so good. My oldest kid's left the nest and I'm feeling old. I can tell you are fascinated, let me tell you more!


Carl- So that's why you should never try to splice cowplant's with actual human DNA. 

Elijah- This is useful information! Not.


And so the years went by and while Elijah was making progress in the scientist field, he wasn't really much closer to finding Exoh.


Xavier- Fantastic! I'm growing old and my son and HEIR hasn't made any progress on finding a spouse. Green or otherwise.

Hey! At least you guys are bringing in some pretty good money!


Xavier- I suppose. And my wife's still pretty hot!

Dottie- *innapropriately places confetti shooter*


Why am I still attracted to this ancient pile of pixels.

Xavier- I'm kind of like George Clooney, I get better every year!

Hmm.


Dottie sure seems to think so.


Elijah crawls up the scientist ladder. Still determined to find his cyber babe.

Elijah- Exoh! Her name is Exoh!


Like I said. The money is really rolling in.



And Xavier is still kicking ass!


Xavier- It's been sweet my dear. But I'm sure you'll make a beautiful elder.


Dottie- That I will!


Xavier- You really think Elijah is going to find this girl? 


Dottie- You should really have more faith in him dear. I mean, if anyone is going to find a way to cross time and space it's going to be him.

Xavier- I suppose you're right. I just wish he'd do it before we expire.


Elijah- What's that now?

Xavier- Nothing! Happy Birthday darling!


Dottie- Hmm I wish for... grandbabies before I die!

Elijah- Subtle mom.



Aww. Xavier still loves her <3




Elijah- *sigh*

What?

Elijah- It's been almost five years since I've talked to her. Should I give up?

Well. Maybe you should branch out a bit? Maybe there is a girl here you could love. And make babies with. In the near future. yourparentsaregettingSOold!

Elijah- You might be right. I'll give it a shot!

:D


The library! Good choice!

Elijah- Well if I can't have my alien I at least got to have a nerdy wife. Where else would I find one?

True true.


Nice!


Elijah- She's nice I guess.

Alicia- What do you mean 'I guess'? Who are you talking to?


Elijah- Well honestly I'm partial to otherworldly beings, but you will do. Would you like to have several offspring with me?


Alicia- First of all, I am way hotter than any alien you could dream of! And secondly no. I hate children.

Elijah- There is no way you're hotter than Exoh btw. And you suck! BYE!!!


Well that was a bust. The nightclub looks a little better though! Wait a second.


Neither of these girls can work. They are a product of my 100 Geek babies challenge. Ugh.




Too bad you're not gay. I would love to see those babies. I guess we'll have to wait for you to find Exoh then.

Elijah- :D! *continues dancing super close to green-haired man*


Elijah- Good news guys! I finally invented a machine that allows me to communicate with aliens from Exoh's home planet!

Xavier- Bout damn time!

Dottie- That's lovely dear! 


I'm so frackin excited!


Elijah- Whelp. Let's test this baby out!




Alien- Elijah, I assume?

Elijah- Uh hi! Yes that's me! How did you know my name?

Alien- Greetings Elijah, we have a lot to discuss.


Elijah- So you're telling me that Exoh is part of an ongoing project. 

Alien- Yes. We are currently impregnating several men on your planet in an attempt to colonize here. Truthfully, our home planet is overcrowding and this planet is the most similar to ours.

Elijah- But Mr. ah-

Alien- Darren. You may call me Darren.

Elijah- Right. Darren. *cough* 


Elijah- Exoh was happy here! She would of been happy with me! Why can't she come back?


Darren- Truthfully, I agree with you. But she is one of the first children ever born with both human and Erixian DNA. She is being studied extensively. She may not even be able to reproduce with another human, so your hopes of continuing this.. uh-

Elijah- Legacy.

Darren- Legacy, could be for nothing.


Darren- I do admire you though. I have never met another life form that was willing to travel so far for love.

Elijah- Well thank you! 

Darren- It is truly inspiring! In fact...


Darren- I will help you on your quest!


Elijah- Why do I suddenly know everything I need to know in order to find Exoh?

Darren- Alien. Duh. Well. Good luck, strange hairless sapien.


Now all he needs is a promotion. :p


Xavier- I'm going to die in like five days get a move on!

Elijah- No pressure then.


I just really like that painting.



I think I love him.





Way to throw a wrench in my story guys. Thanks a lot.


IS THAT A BUMP?! %&#(


Elijah- I've been chosen for the experiment I guess. You think dad will be happy?

Maybe?


Elijah- The f***?!


Elijah- That's it! I'm just going to wing it!

Wing it? What do you mean?!


Elijah- I'm about to have an alien baby. I'm about to grow into an actual adult. I just can't wait anymore.



Elijah- Hey it worked!


It really is stunning. I hope all alien worlds look like this.

Elijah- Hey I found someone!


Elijah- Excuse me miss! Could you help me find someone?

Alien- Been a while since I've seen a human. Sure why not?


Alien- The person got a name?

Elijah- Her name is Exoh. She came here around seven years ago I guess? 


Alien-...Ex..Exoh? May I ask how you know her?

Elijah- We met on the internet, pen pals. She was super funny and insightful. We would type for so long my hands would cramp up.

Alien- You're looking for a girl you've never seen? She could be a total catfish!

Elijah- Nah she was real. I know it. 


Alien- I don't think I can help you dude sorry!

Elijah- *waddles after her*


Elijah- Wait a second! You said you would help me!!


Alien- Well. I do know Exoh, and I also know that she can never go home. Ever. 

Elijah- Why not?

Alien- Because this is her home now. The humans never trusted her, and she could never fit in. She'd have to wear that human disguise everyday to avoid looks of disgust! What kind of life is that?

Elijah- I wouldn't want her to change damn it! And screw everyone else and their prejudice! I just want to be with her. I've been working for seven years trying to be with her.


Alien- That's. Incredible. Lucky girl.


Elijah- You can drop the charade now Exoh.

Alien- Woah what? 

Elijah- I know it's you. It was really obvious actually.


Exoh- You got me.


Exoh- But that really doesn't change the fact that I can't go with you. My mom would legit kill you. 

Elijah- Are you kidding me?





Elijah- I'd like to see her try.

Exoh- Well then.


Elijah- Come home with me? Please.



Exoh- You know. It's funny. Mom's not going to have any idea why I'm wearing this ring when she finds me.




Exoh- Let's go home.




The END! 


I realize that this was probably terrible, but I enjoyed every second of it! Tune in next time for normal legacy stuffs! Thanks for reading and Happy Simming!

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